News Archive

Saturday 24 May 2008

Humanists Accuse Religious Followers Of Unworthy Motives

An article in the local Tribune this weekend has Mr. Treacle Jeremiah accusing people of faith (and Christians in particular) of being 'loveless bigots, devoid of compassion who are compelled to care out of fear and moral cowardice."

In a telephone conversation today, he elaborated that Christians don't care for the needy because they love the needy. On the contrary, they care for the needy for fear that God will hit them with a big bolt of lightning if they don't. Humanists, on the other hand, suffer from no such handicap since they don't believe in a god, therefore their motivation is purer.

When asked what their motivation was, Treacle said "well, it's kind of obvious; we help the needy to show that Christians don't have a monopoly on needy-helping, therefore increasing our market share in the compassion space."