Speaking in our studio this morning, McKaskill said "we have been successful in making it socially unacceptable to wish someone a 'Happy Christmas'. This was one of our initiatives driven by the need to include, during the winter months, people of all faiths. It is now normal to say 'Happy Holiday' and 'Christmas' is an offensive thing of the past."
He went on; "after much research, we have concluded that wishing Happy Birthday to a specific person carries the implication that nobody else is celebrating their birthday thus making them feel excluded from the celebrations.
"From now on, anybody singing person-specific lyrics for someone's birthday will be fined a considerable amount and given three anti-citizen points."
Correspondence from the state's Social Justice department has provided us with the new approved birthday song's lyrics;
Happy Birthday to all
Happy Birthday to all
Happy Birthday to all free persons
Happy Birthday to all
Furthermore, Bart McKaskill explained that phrases such as 'Birthday Boy' would also not be permitted since that also is exclusive speech and offends Gender Neutrality, though 'Birthday Girl' is acceptable when the subject of the song has an invoice proving they have bought a sanitary towel within the last three days.
Some say that this is yet further erosion of tradition and freedom of speech while others embrace the State's efforts to be more inclusive of everyone regardless of their name.
This is Budd McKenzie reporting for the Progressive Humanist News
