A distraught 6 year old Secularist Humanist today concluded that her father doesn't exist after hurting her knee falling because Tommy (her brother) pushed her while arguing over sweets in the back yard.
Explaining, between sobs, young Freda Halliwell said; "If Daddy was real and he loved me, he wouldn't have let me go out to play in the back yard or he would have made me share my sweets with Tommy who didn't have any sweets.
"He's always told me to share my sweets with Tommy but that seemed such a restrictive lifestyle choice, but if he really loved me, he would have forced me to share my sweets and then I wouldn't have been pushed and had this nasty cut on my leg".
She finished by saying "If Daddy really was a loving Daddy, he would have forced me to share. He didn't, therefore he doesn't exist".
Tommy and friends of the family are equally dismissive of the existence of Freda and Tommy's father saying that if he was a real, loving Daddy, he would have made sure that Tommy had sweets of his own if he wasn't going to force Freda to share.
Freda is expected to require a sticky plaster on her knee for at least one and a half weeks after which time she's expected to sue Mother Nature for giving her knees that can bleed.
